It is 3:35pm Saturday and I am thinking of how and where should I start with my journal and I am actually in a process of identifying the biggest problem that I am facing as there are many problems that I have, ever since I started to understand and learn to live as a human being which yet never been solved.
Yesterday, while surfing the internet, I thought about the fear that I have been struggled to fight and I believe that this fear I have is one of the major that brought me to failures in many circumstances in my life. It is a fear to voice out my own opinion to others, a fear to do a presentation, a fear of facing failure and so many more fears inside me.
I am thinking of the microteaching presentation and later after that will be the macro teaching presentation. I cannot figure out how I can overcome my fear and anxiety to face the audience while presenting my lesson. It dreads me and sometimes I feel I am too small for them to see me in front and afraid they refuse to participate the activity that I plan to do in the microteaching or macro teaching.
For many years, I been fighting with this fear and I can say that I have improved after I had experienced a lot of failures and embarrassing moments in my life and it forced me to change and get the confidence that I should have.
The fear of voice out an opinion, meeting new people, and many other little fear inside me has lessen but yet I’m still unable to control myself from being fear to speak in front of a crowd. The microteaching and macro teaching will definitely shake me despite the audience is merely my course mates and Dr. Nurul. I cannot imagine how I can convey my lesson if there are too much fear in me. My hand and even my body will be shaking and I am afraid if the audience will notice it and laugh at me. Anything in my hand will be shaking obviously and that will embarrass me a lot. I have been experiencing these situations every time I do an individual presentation and I often see some of the audience show a kind of face that make me lost my confident. Sometimes I can think of seeking a medicine to relieve my nervous problem because I think it is over than ordinary.
I often ask people especially those who has a high confident level about how they manage their fear or nervous and they always give me a simple solution ‘think about how you do your presentation more rather than be afraid of what other think about you’. I think they are right and I have to focus on what I should do to create a good presentation especially to the microteaching and macro teaching presentation. I really hope that I can do my best in such a way that the audience will have an interest and understand with the topic that I will discuss with them in the presentation.
According to the articles that I had read on how to handle speech anxiety, the feeling of nervous is healthy and natural. It shows that we are care to do well. But, too much nervousness can be detrimental. The article also stated that, in order to control the nervousness, and make effective and memorable presentation, a presenter need to know the presentation material well. Much of the fear is actually comes from wondering if we will make a mistake, or if the audience will know more than us. Thus, we need to practise my speech. If we are well prepared and know the material, we will have more confidence and less anxiety.
Other theory also stated that in order to deliver a good presentation, a presenter need to relax and focus his or her attention on thoughts and images that are calming and reassuring. Besides, the presenter should know the condition of the room. Thus, it will help him or her to feel comfortable and familiar with how and where he or she can walk around during the presentation. It is also stated that, an effective presentation skill can be developed through practices or rehearsal and this is the most important part to ensure that a presenter able to convey his or her presentation effectively and efficiently. During the rehearsal, a presenter needs to time him or herself to ensure that it can be finished within the allotted time. A presenter must speak clearly and the volume of the voice should be arranged to create interest by changing its pitch especially when demonstrate an interest or the important part of the presentation. Body language such as eye contact and appearance are also important to make sure that the presentation can be done effectively.
Through experiences, the anxiety or fear will be lessened and I believe that I can do a great presentation as long as I have the desire and motivation to make it as good as I can.
I have to build the confidence and put away the fear out of me if I want to be a good presenter. Besides, being confident and a good presenter will help me a lot in my future profession. I will face not only in front of my course mates but later to the students and other peoples. To become a good teacher, it is not enough to have all the pedagogical and content knowledge skill alone. I have to put away the fear at a first place to ensure that I am able to convey my lesson effectively and efficiently.
Actually, I admire and impressed with Dr. Nurul because of her capability to convey her lecture which I never seen other lecturer done it before. I am now dreaming of becoming like her. I want to be able to make sure that student understand and have their interest towards my lesson. I definitely have to learn and practice a lot but I believe that I can make it if I really focus on making it become real. While I’m learning, I need to be brave, confident and practice it often. I hope this enthusiasm will last long and I will always have the motivation to improve my skill in teaching.
In order to solve my problem, firstly, I have to think and remind myself of the purpose of becoming a teacher. As a teacher I should not have the anxiety or fear in presenting in front of an audience because that is one of the purposes of a teacher. I have to be confident and focus on how to make a good presentation and not about what people think about me in the presentation. Thus, the audience understand the content of the presentation. This is what I want to do for my microteaching and macro teaching.
Secondly, I need to practice and make a rehearsal until I satisfied with my performance. Means, I have to prepare the content of the presentation earlier and therefore I have enough time for practices.
Thirdly, I have to read more books or articles that encourage me to think positively and keep me focus on reducing my fear instead of thinking negatively.
Last but not least, I need to take it as a challenge. I will take any opportunity to do a presentation and do it as good as I can because through experiences, I believe that this fear will be lessen and therefore, one day I can stand in front of a crowd with a confident and inspire others through my presentation especially in my profession.
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